Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
