yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
