Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
