I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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