I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
