it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
