I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
