Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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