Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
