Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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