Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
