Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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