he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
