thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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