Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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