Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
