We're facebook friends in real life
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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