Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
