What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
