my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
