There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
