Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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