That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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