Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
