I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
