12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
