I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
