I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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