i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
