either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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