better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
