apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm passing your future prison.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
