no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
