If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
