the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
