If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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