I feel like I'm in dance class right now
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
