Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
