white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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