Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
