Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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