u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
