I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize