Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
