her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
