Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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