Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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