3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Do you still have your period?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
