I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
