Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
