Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
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