Pants 0. Shit 1.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
