JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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