New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
