Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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