Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
