sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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