HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
