I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
