so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
