Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
