Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
