Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
This gyro tastes like lonliness
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
