walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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