I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize