dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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