do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
