on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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